The Many Adventures of Frodo and Sam

It has been a couple weekends since I last posted. Sorry about that. You know, being in Italy can be very time consuming. Before I get to the main story, here's a quick rundown of stuff before this last weekend.

January 19 - 25

Let's see. First we had a field trip to the Roman Forum. It was pretty interesting. But, if you've been an astute reader of my blog, you'll know that I have already seen much of what Helena showed us. But that didn't stop it being interesting. The whole Classics 479 is really very interesting.

On the Saturday, (the 19th, we're at)
Bobbi, Barb, Fi and myself made a little trip and did some minor shopping. Nothing major, I swear. Really, honestly, I promise. We hardly bought anything. It was almost a waste of a day. I can hardly remember what I got. We certainly didn't find any discount stores. Or anything even remotely related to any sort of designer whatsoever. Really. I promise. But we had a lot of candy. mmmmm ... candy.

And that's about it for interesting stuff. The Sunday through Thursday following were nothing spectacular. I mean, I'm in Italy, and that's pretty awesome. But you already know that, so I have nothing new to report.

Then, on Friday the 25th, our Art History class went on a field trip to Assisi and Perugia, where we saw some cool frescos in absolutely freezing churches. Of course, rumour has it, that the weather here is about 50 degrees above what you guys back home are enjoying. So, I guess I shouldn't complain. But still, the churches were cold, and the art was pretty interesting. It's nice having a prof to explain paintings to you. They're a lot more interesting that way. We went to Perugia to a museum, and there were more paintings. It was also cool. But not as cold as the churches. It was a filed trip you had to be there to enjoy. But I did enjoy it. Really. Anyway, that's about it for everything else, now onto the main article.

Our story starts with a rumour. A whisper from the darkest corners of the hostel. Rumours about a fiercesome strike looming in the future. A train strike whose vast consequences would reveberate through plans for weekend trips. Yet the rumour was weak. Cunning chance, or an especially cunning enemy denied the rumour. And certain fated weekend trips were not forgotten, were not lost, but remembered, and commenced by two unsuspecting individuals.

These individuals were not tall, hardened men of the south, but a peaceful folk. Their greatest love was food. One we shall call Kor - Frodo, and the other is known as Fi - Sam. Frodo and Sam new that they were to set out on a journey, a journey to a mythical place, know to many as Cinque Terre, a famed and mythical land of the north. Its fame came from its peace, from its lush, green forest paths and tiny fishing villages, remote from the rest of the world, but in perfect harmony with the sea, its closest neighbour, and the earth, its mother.

Frodo and Sam, despite the whispered rumours, knew they were bound to set out before dawn on Saturday morning. So they took care to stock up with supplies. The journey would be long and hard, and so they went to the local grocer's to purchase provisions for their journey. Among such stock matterials as cookies and water, another provision, one they had not anticipated, came into their possesion. It is a famed thing, this possession, known through the years to bring ruin to those that sought its power. I speak now, of the One Nutella, forged deep under a mountian in the days of old. Yet innocently did it come into the possession of Frodo and Sam. They even believed that it would help them on the way.

And so, in the light before dawn, Frodo and Sam set out. Their journey would take them across many roads, and to innumerable train stations. And it was while they were on their journey that they began to comsume the One Nutella, or rather, the Nutella began to consume them.

Yet it was while they were on their journey that they leanred the true purpose to which they had been set. It was their enormous task to destroy the One Nutella. A fiercesome task this seemed at the time. Little did they know just how fiercesome it would become.

When they arrived at Cinque Terre, they immediately set up camp outside a village called Riomaggiore. Try as they might, they continued to comsume the One Nutella, and it continued to consume them. They thought that, if they could reach the village shaman in the fifth village, the final of the set, called Monterosso, he would help them to destroy the Nutella. So, after a short lunch, Frodo and Sam set out on a long and arduous journey.

They followed narrow paths carved into the sheer rock face that fell to the treacherous sea bellow. And surrounded though they were by lush greenery, Frodo and Sam were wary, because they knew that dangers could be lurking in every patch of undergrowth, in every shadow behind a beam of sunlight, below every rock, and in the bottom of every crevice. At one point they even saw a giant poisonous lizard, and had to crawl away with utmost care in order not to disturb it from its sleep. The path was long and hard, and the thought of the One Nutella weight heavily on both their minds.

The two adventurers wound their way through long, hard paths, and passed through the three other villages of Cinque Terre, growing ever nearer to their destination. Finally, as the sun set, they reached the village of Monterosso, only to find it a strange place, different from all the other villages. When they arrived, it was dark, and most respectable shops had already closed. But they knew they had to find the wise shaman. And then they found him. On via Elrond lived the wise shaman known as Bar Davi. Bar Davi welcomed the two adventureres after their long journey, and fed them a fulll hearty meal and provided them with a magic healigh elixir, know to the locals as Cioccolata Calda. And then he advised them on their quest. He assured them that the One Nutella must be destroyed at a far away place, on the very top of a mountain, from whence it came. Furthermore, Bar Davi confirmed that it must be Frodo and Sam that did it.

So Frodo and Sam left Bar Davi on via Elrond, scared for the task that was before them, and uncertain how to proceed. They knew they must, and so they headed to the train station. There, they caught a train. As it rolled in front of them, the screech of its breaks make a horrible gurgling sound. And the chugging of the engine hissed out "golum ... golum ... golum." Repulsed as they were to get assistance from something so loathesome, Frodo and Sam knew they must accept help from the writhing train. They allowed the train to take them back to their camp. There they rested for the night, after a long and trying journey, uncertain of what the future held before them, but certain of their frightful task.

In the morning, the two companions took their time getting ready. They were quite tired of this whole adventure thing, and quite ready to go home. So in a rebellious fit, they left far too late. They went to the train station, once more aware that they would be forced to leave their fates in the hands of the train that gurgled "golum" as it rolled down the tracks.

But the train was a treacherous thing. The rumours of a strike came to fruition, and the train abbandoned them in La Spezia. For four hours they waited for their connection, unsure if it would ever arrive, unsure if it would lead them straight, or take them to even more unceratin ends, and trap them in a foreign land, far from the comforts of home. But with the steady patience bore out of their natures, Frodo and Sam waited for their connecting train, and did catch it to Pisa, to Florence, and then to Camucia. After many long hours in the prescence of the train golum, it left them at the very bottom of the great mountain - the mountain at whose peak they were to destroy the great Nutella.

Tired and weary after many long hours of travel, after the treacher of the train golum and still with the heavy weight of the One Nutella, Frodo and Sam set out on their final journey, one that would take them to the top of the mountain that stood before them. Here, at the foot of the mountain, they had a final meal, a supper of unleavened bread, and the remainder of the meat and cheese. And then they began to climb.

Though the way was long and the road was dark, Frodo and Sam continued to climb streadily, keeping alway in mind the nearing end of their journey. And the Nutella weighed heavier still. They climbed and climbed until, very near the top, they were uncertain that they could go any further.

Luckily, just then, chance smiled upon them, and they met a kindly stranger named Cocoa, and he offered them a ride up to the top of the mountain, and to the end of their journey. Grateful but weary, the travellers slid into the backseat of his car, and he drove them to their final destination. They reached the top of the mountain.

And just then, when the moment was finally ripe to rid themselves forever of the Nutella, their hearts grew weak. They had come to love the sticky, soft concoction. And so they stayed at the top of their mountain, to the end of their days, relishing in the One Nutella, that slowly consumed them, as they slowly consumed it.

mmmmm Nutella....

The End. Moral of the story? Nutella is yummy. Take it with you on all your weekend trips.

ps. Sorry for the typos. I'll try and fix it later. Also, sorry for the extreme length of the post. But I hope you liked it.